People are People

Illegitimate Child – “the illegitimate offspring of unmarried parents”

Do you know what I absolutely despise? The term “illegitimate child.” It is a disgusting phrase that evokes the mindset of medieval England – that is, sex is for power and babies, and if you participate for any other reason, you’re a harlot and your children suffer. Why is it that a child is “illegitimate” because his or her parents were unmarried at the time of conception? As if being unwed somehow makes the child less real, or less of a person. I really can’t stand it, especially when people still use the phrase today. It’s the twenty-first century for God’s sake, and you know what? People have sex. That doesn’t make them bad people, or immoral people. People have children. That doesn’t make the parents or the children worth any less. And you know what? Sometimes people have sex, have children, and skip the marriage, and calling that child illegitimate is a disgusting, archaic thing to say.

 

There’s my angry blog for the month.

When I Wake

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” (Dr. Seuss)

Sleep is a funny thing. While you’re asleep, you can be anything, or have anything. But at the same time, you’re the farthest from reality that you’ll ever be. And then you wake up, and for one horrible second, you can actually believe that everything you had while you were asleep is real; s/he really does love you, you really can be together, and things are finally working out. Then, reality hits, like a glass of ice water, and you realize that none of it actually happened. It sucks. I think a lot of it has to do with the things we deny ourselves, in real life. Even though we tell ourselves that we don’t care about a person, or that whatever obstacles that stand between us and happiness are too huge to rise above, our brains know what we really want. And then, for those few short hours, we can be happy. Sleep’s a funny thing. If we don’t get enough of it, we get sick. If we get too much, the same. When we’re not doing it, we think we’re happy. When we are, we feel happy. 

“I love sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know? (Ernest Hemingway)

“I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.” (Stephen Chbosky) 

Are You Listening?

“Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of the blindfolded fear.” (T. Jefferson)

I was raised a religious person; I attended church every weekend, I went to a religious school, and I was taught to pray. However, while listening to a prayer at school the other day, I was struck by the most profound sense that I didn’t want there to be a God listening. I didn’t want there to be a deity above, controlling day-to-day life, or even long-term life. I wanted to be the only one in control of my own life, success, and happiness. Now, maybe that all routes back to trust issues – I’m so mistrustful that I can’t even hope for a God to help me. But maybe, just maybe, it’s because God isn’t just something that exists. A brick wall is a brick wall; you can call it a pared de ladrillo, you can call it a mur de briques, you can even call it a 磚牆 if you want. That doesn’t change what it is in essence – a wall made of bricks. Maybe God is different though: you can call him/her/it “God”, “Allah”, “Zeus”, or whatever you like, and for you that is exactly how God exists. And if you proclaim there is no such thing as God? Then for you, there isn’t.

I hope there isn’t a God, sometimes. And I hope if s/he’s listening that s/he forgives me.

Who I Am

"All the world's a stage,and all the men and women merely
players: they have their  exits and their entrances." 
(William Shakespeare)

As the age-old expression will have it,
no one ever sticks around. Friendships end, 
relationships break, and life goes on.
At the same time though, we meet people,
we  are exposed to new feelings,
and we learn how to cope with it all; 
the good, the bad, the new, and the old. 
Everyone copes in different ways; 
some people run, some people hide. 
Right now, I'm just doing my best to understand it all.
So, if love, desire, and ambition interest you, 
stick around I guess. Maybe some of my crazy
musings will entertain you, or inspire you,
or make you feel just a little bit less alone 
than you did before. So anyways, here we go I guess. 

I'll close with this:
"Remember tonight... for it is the beginning of forever."
(Dante)